5 reasons pooches are infinitely healthier and better than purebred dogs – VIDEO
So you want to have a dog. Mazel Tov! This is a great idea! Dogs are adorable! Who doesn’t love those sweet, enthusiastic, mellow bundles of pure, unconditional love? Commies, who is it! And you are not nice! So now I imagine you are thinking to yourself, “What kind of dog should I take? “A dachshund? A German Shepherd? A Dalmatian maybe? Before calling a breeder, I invite you to take a look at the latest episode of the fantastic University humor Web series Adam ruins everything. TL; DR: Purebred dogs are the worst and you should get yourself a mutt instead.
The truth is, I never really saw the interest in purebred dogs. (And I’ll admit it: I have a soft spot for mutts. My beloved childhood dogs, Toko and Spunky, were both mutts. RIP, puppies!) I mean, Great Danes are they great? They are super awesome. Do I dream of rolling around in a little puddle of poodles? Every fucking night. If you gave me a Bichon Frize, would I keep it and love it forever and name it Grapefruit? I would like. But can you honestly tell me that dogs with greater genetic diversity are not just as cute? Dare I say … cuter? Imagine all the cutest parts of your favorite breeds in an amazing uberdog! With mutts it’s possible! Let’s take a look at some more reasons to go pooch or come home.
Here are some things you probably didn’t know about purebred dogs:
Dog breeds are made up by humans
Any dog in its natural state is a mutt. Races are arbitrary distinctions made by people (more on this in a minute). It’s not like we once had purebred poodles, collies and greyhounds roaming around and mutts were the unfortunate side effect of their accidental mixing. Pure breeds are the result of selective breeding.
Dog breeding became popular in Victorian England as a result of the eugenics movement
90% of all dog breeds are under 100 years old (the remaining 10% are mostly working breeds). Prior to the Victorian era, dogs were bred for “type” (work, sport, or company) rather than breed. But once the aristocrats became competitive in raising the “perfect” dog, completely random standards were set … with often unfortunate results.
Pure breed = consanguineous
Kennel clubs do not allow dogs to mate outside of their breed. The result is super concentrated lines (it is not uncommon for parents to mate with offspring and siblings) that are more apt to provide you with that adorable snub nose you are looking for, as well as a host of genetic diseases. A study from Imperial College London found that 10,000 pugs in the UK had a level of genetic diversity you would expect to see in 50 individuals.
The bulldog is the king of badly behaved dogs
Poor, poor bulldog. Hip dysplasia plagues the race, but that is the least of their problems. They have great difficulty breathing through their super squashed noses, their short tails can become ingrown, their heads are so big that they can only give birth by cesarean section, and their average life expectancy is only 6. years. I had pants last longer than that.
Breeding creates poorer dogs that only get sicker
The Bulldog may be emblematic of bad breeding practices, but they are not alone. Facts according to this video: 60% of Golden Retrievers die of cancer, 1/3 of King Charles Spaniels have heads too small for their brains, and Great Danes’ hearts cannot support their massive bodies. By breeding to completely arbitrary and totally unnatural standards, we ultimately make dogs sicker and sicker. No one wants sick dogs. The best way to combat this is to stick with mutts the way nature intended. Bonus points: They are almost always much cheaper than a purebred dog and are available at your local shelter.
Check out the full hilarious and informative video (hilformative? Inflarious? Word-mutts FTW) below.
Images: Getty Images; YouTube (5)